Friendship: what does it mean for you?
Revised and updated July 2015
As with any relationship, friendships bring support and joy and occasionally strife. Sometimes I find it easier to neglect my friends, because I am feeling down, or I find other excuses that keep me from looking up their company and companionship. It’s not even always that “life” gets in the way, but it feels like to much of an effort.
That’s bad, because when you are feeling down it is so much more important to go out and meet people and let them know you care about them. I am sure there is some psychologist out there that has a wonderful explanation why I do what I do. And why I get so bogged down when in reality I would love to go out and meet my friends.
Being a friend
I am a people person, but I also am an introvert, and this may be a surprise for some people, but rather shy. I used to be terrible shy and rather sit in a corner and try to be invisible then go out there and have fun with my friends. So thinking about this, really I have come a long way; sure I still often feel awkward, but I have learned to overcome this most of the time. Friends have helped me in a big way to become who I am; their support, trust and encouragements have been invaluable. And yes, in return I do try to be a good friend, but I just can’t always be one.
What you can do
So for those that have, like me, a bit more trouble connecting, and staying connected with friends, here are a few ideas that might be helpful:
- Stay connected:
Connect through Facebook or other social media, writing letters, or calling friends. This works great when you are unable to meet them in person, because they are too far away, or you yourself cannot go see them. And don’t make excuses because you are busy doing laundry.
- Become part of a group. I just enrolled in a senior center, and it took me a great deal of courage to go out and attend the painting class regularly. All the unknowns were enough to almost keep me from going. Next time will be a lot better, knowing what I know, and seeing a lot of my friends there really does help. Besides I did have a great time…
- Make a “date”. With one or more of your friends go out for coffee, lunch what not, but make a point to go see them. Sometimes just dropping in for a few minutes is great therapy for the both of you. Show them you appreciate them and thank them for their help and support.
- When you offer to do something for them, make sure you really want to do this. You don’t want to offer someone to do something for them, and then coming to resent them when they want you to do this thing you offered to do!
These are just a few things to get you going in the right direction.
Leave your comments below of what makes a friend for you, and what you think is helpful in building and strengthening friendships, thanks Marjan
Kindness gives us a reason to belief.
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